explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
