remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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