It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
