If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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