Have you finally orgasmed yet?
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i barfeds in our rink
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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