we have officially lost it.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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