My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize