Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
