He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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