I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
there is puke in my bra ... again
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