This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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