I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
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I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
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Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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