yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
