i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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