I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
