i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
