if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
