with your own penis?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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