3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
