Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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