no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
