I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
