Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
