Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
