I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
we're so committed to being not committed
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