My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Randomize
