Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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