She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
