I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
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Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
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He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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