Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wish you could order shots online.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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