im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
