I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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