we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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