I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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