Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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