Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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