You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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