is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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