Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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