I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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