one word: firstdatebathroomanal
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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