She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
