remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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