He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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