And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
