put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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