that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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