you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
