just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just invented taco cereal.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
