just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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