so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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