at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Dear god my vagina.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
