so that wasnt chicken after all
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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