I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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