Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
