How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
