While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
