I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
