You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
